The Ghost Ship

Actors: 4
Notes: We performed this on Halloween which is our (probably poor) excuse for the ghost pirates.

Synopsis

Three “friends,” (Charlie, Amy, and Sue) are wandering aimlessly about the stage, bumping into one another with great frequency. Suddenly, one looks up and notices a massive ship, which seems to have appeared out of nowhere. Observing the Captain perched up on deck, one of them asks if this is a ghost pirate ship. “Aye, me matties,” he replies, and suddenly clearing his throat and loosing the pirate-speak: “I mean, no, no it’s not. It’s a sailing ship heading for the land of the free.
Oh, OK, is the disinterested reply, as the three resume their wandering. “Wait,” yells the Captain. “I’m accepting passengers. Doesn’t anyone want to come along?” Charlie immediately accepts and vaults up the gang plank to the deck, where he proceeds to provide the comic relief for the remainder of the skit – alternately playing Leonardo at the prow and acting like an over-eager Gilligan. The others, however, are not so easily impressed. How can he just jump on a ship that’s likely to wander aimlessly on the open sea for months or years, asks Amy. It’s much easier to wander aimlessly on solid ground where at least it’s dry. “We won’t wander,” assures the Captain. “We have a straight course plotted for the land of the free.” (“But not”, he explains to Charlie, “the home of the brave, because they just got swept in the World Series.”)
“But what about our troubles, our debts, and our obligations,” asks Sue. How can we just jump on board and leave all that behind? “Don’t worry about a thing,” promises the Captain. His people will contact her people and make sure all those insurmountable debts and problems are taken care of.” Sue is unconvinced.
Amy for her part is worried about far too many things to think about a trip. There’s her job, her family, global warming, land-mimes, the national debt, and, of course, SUV’s. “Get on board my ship,” proclaims the Captain, “and all those worries will fall away and drop to the bottom of the sea.”
“Let me get this straight, “ declares Sue. “You’re telling me that if I get on that ship all my problems and insurmountable debts will be swept away, I’ll stop wandering aimlessly, and all my worries will sink to the bottom of the sea?” “Yes,” agrees the Captain. “You’ve got to be crazy!” accuses Sue, “My problems, my debts, my worries, my futile aimlessness are what defines me! They are what define humanity! Who am I to put myself above the level of my fellow man?! You sailors – always trying to knock me out of my comfort zone!” So saying, she stalks off stage.
Amy, however, is far more interested. “Is what Sue just said true?” she asks. “Absolutely,” assures the Captain. “Then lower that gangplank!” she shouts, and climbs on board.
As they prepare to weigh anchor, Charlie – unbearably excited to be underway at last – asks the Captain if they can pretend to be pirates. “If you must,” he replies, and with a “AAARRRGH” they set sail.




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