Synopsis[View Full Script]
A plane goes down in the middle of the ocean. Joe alone has found a life raft, and Floyd has joined him just before we come in. A series of passengers alternately swim, drift, or dog-paddle by. To each, Joe calls out an offer of a seat on the raft. The first passenger is under the delusion that she already has a boat. Joe tries to convince her otherwise, but she insists and swims off, only to be eaten by sharks offstage while Joe watches in horror. The second passenger is much too busy to think about life rafts shes got a hair appointment, a job interview, and needs to feed her cat. She too becomes fish food. About this time, Joe notices that Floyd is wearing for reasons never to become obvious a shirt covered in razors. Joe gently tries to suggest that he remove it and toss it overboard since the alternative seems to be certain death after it slices up the raft. Floyd utterly refuses, eventually choosing instead to jump overboard. The sharks eat him too, getting a bit cut up in the process. The third passenger (Candy) comes by, and seems interested in getting aboard, except she recognizes Joe from first class while she herself flies baggage. Shes sure Joe is above traveling with the likes of her. Joe eventually convinces her otherwise and she gratefully climbs aboard. The fourth passenger is immediately excited to jump aboard until he sees Candy. Women are bad luck on any sort of vessel, he insists just look at the plane! When Joe refuses to kick her out in his favor, he too refuses passage and subsequently becomes shark bait. Finally, the fifth passenger badly injured floats by on a bit of wreckage. Joe asks her to climb in, but shes too strong and independent. Shes planning to build her own boat out of the wreckage smoldering over by that group of dorsal fins. Unsurprisingly, the sharks get another meal from her. Having exhausted the stream of survivors, Candy suggests they start rowing and beings singing Row, row, row your boat at the top of her lungs badly. Joe, clearly horrified, is prepared to fling himself out of the boat rather than suffer the singing until he sees theyre almost to a large, friendly island. Certain disaster averted, they row towards safety.
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