Snowboarding for Geeks

Actors: 5
Reference: Acts 17:16-34
Notes: This could be done with 4 actors if necessary - eliminate the third geek.

Synopsis

Shredder, an accomplished snow-board instructor, and Amy, an instructor in training, find themselves with a group of big-time computer geeks who had to be physically pried out of their cube chairs and bussed to the slopes for an enforced "vacation." Shredder can't seem to get through them, because they simply don't speak the same language. They think that "carving" has something to do with turkeys, "stomp pads" should possibly have mice on them, "leashes" and "wax" are for dogs and candles, and "riding goofy" they can't do anything with at all. Shredder finally loses his patience and grabs the first geek by the shoulders and says the only way to learn is by doing. He then launches into a long set of incomprehensible instructions about avoiding rails, hits, and jib parks, and sticking to the bunny hill. Shredder than gives the geek a healthy shove down the hill (and off stage) - then watches in horror as he heads straight for the aforementioned hits and jib parks, executes a handful of incredible and ill-advised moves, and finally flies off a cliff and lands high up in a tree. Shredder gives up and rants and raves for quite a while about not knowing what to do with these people. The other geeks are horrified and trying to retreat as quickly as they can disentangle their gear. Finally, Amy - who has been quiet this whole time - grabs and shakes him and says "Let me try. I speak Geek!" Shredder happily relinquishes control: in fact, he just takes a nap on his feet. Amy is able to calm down the geeks by encouraging them to "reboot" and "Control-Alt-Delete." She then compares the vacation to the best night they can ever think of spent coding and drinking Jolt Cola, only better. In fact, vacation will make them better programmers - even better people! She reminds them that no-one ever writes a program without expecting it to crash a few times, and they will too when snowboarding, but it's OK 'cause they'll just get up and try again. A few more computer metaphors (like treating the whole thing like a program, and breaking it into sub-modules) and at least one of the remaining geeks is ready to try again. One final geek isn't convinced, and for her Amy has a printed manual. The geek hugs her in relief, scans the manual at speed-reading velocity, and is also ready to go. Amy and the geeks depart to rescue their stranded friend, leaving Shredder to his nap.