|
The Best Peoples Club
Full Script[View Synopsis Only]Scene: Trevor, Jennifer, and Christina are gathered for their weekly Best People club meeting. Scott is late. Trevor: (in an affected, snobbish rich-people voice) Welcome, Welcome to the meeting of the Schools Best People Club. Ahh, Jennifer, do you know where Scott is? Jennifer: Um, well, I dont know. I think he might have - uh - you know... Christina: Car trouble? Jennifer: Um, no... uh ... Christina: Track Practice? Jennifer: No, no, he quit track... Christina: Jammed locker? Jennifer: No... Trevor: (cutting in on the inane conversation) Well, wherever he is, hes late. Christina, why dont you start us off with a report on your meeting with the principle. Christina: Oh, Mr. Peabody, he makes me so mad! As everyone knows, I was assigned to go to him to ask for official sponsorship - including finances - by the school of the Best Peoples Club. I must have spent an hour creating the official proposal on my computer - and he turned us down flat! Jennifer & Trevor: Turned us down?! Christina: Yes! He said he couldnt justify the existence of a club whos only purpose was to make fun of people not in the club! Can you believe it? Jennifer: The ... The ... Christina: Gall! Jennifer: Yeah! The Gall! Trevor: Well, well teach him not to mess with the Best Peoples Club! Jennifer, make a note of him for next meeting - put him first on the People to Make Fun Of list! Now, Jennifer, werent you working on a fund-raising plan in just in case this happened? Jennifer: Uh, yeah, uh, we were going to do a ... uh ... Christina: Car wash. Jennifer: Yeah, a car wash. I thought Daddys servants could do it for us, but they said they wouldnt! Trevor: They wouldnt? I hope you told your dad to fire them! Jennifer: Well, uh, yeah, but he said that if we wanted a, uh... Christina: Fund raiser Jennifer: Yeah, fund raiser, we should do it ourselves. Trevor: The nerve! Well have to put all of them on the People to make fun of list! Jen, make a note. Scott: (breezes in) Hi guys! Sorry Im late! Its so embarrassing - my cell phone rang, but I thought it was my pager! I couldnt find the message on the pager, so I had to call all my friends to see which one called me. And you can guess how long that took me! Trevor: Well, Scott, since youre late, you can start the making fun session. Jen, whos first on the list? Jennifer: Um, uh... (C points it out to her) Yeah, Its Jimmy Brown. Whos that? Trevor: Oh yes, Jimmy Brown. The tall, gawky, pimply guy who drives a Rabbit and wears his brothers hand-me-downs - from the 80s! But Im encroaching upon your territory, Scott. Please, take it away! Scott: (Looks a little stricken) Well, uh, OK. Jimmy Brown - uh - has uh - kinda mousy hair. Trevor: Mousy hair? Is that the best you can do? I was looking for a real roast. Scott: Um, well, Jimmy is- well, hes poor. Trevor: Hes poor?! Of course he is - thats why were making fun of him! Now come on, Scott. Whats wrong with you today? Scott: Well, Trevor, you see the thing of it is... Trevor: And there is a thing? Scott: Yeah, you see, uh, Ive been praying for Jimmy. Trevor: PRAYING for him? Scott: Yeah! See - we had this lesson at youth group a few weeks ago, and well, it said to pray for people we had trouble liking. So I did it. And you know what? It worked! I found out hes a really good mechanic - in fact, hes been helping me with my car. Trevor: You let him touch your Beamer?! Scott: Sure - did you know you actually have to change your oil every few thousand miles? No wonder Ive been going through so many cars! Hes been working on my cars on the weekend - I think Ill give him my old one in trade. Trevor: Scott, to tell you the truth, Im at a loss. I dont know what to do with you. But because youve been such a loyal and active member of the Best Peoples Club, Im going to give you one more chance. Will you, or will you not, make fun of Jimmy Brown? Scott: (Decisively) No, Trevor, I wont. Trevor: Then Scott, Im afraid that Im going to have to ask you to renounce your membership in the Best Peoples Club. Jen, put him down on the list of excommunicated members. Jennifer: Uh, uh, we dont have a list of excommunicated members! Trevor: (Thunders) Then MAKE ONE! And add him to the top of the "People to Make Fun Of" list for next week! Now get out of here, Scott! (Scott meekly rises and departs, not looking too awfully upset.) Trevor: OK, Christina. Ill let you take over the making fun session for Jimmy Brown - and make it good. Christina: (looking a little nervous) Uh, Trevor, dont get mad, but I dont think I can make fun of Jimmy either. See, the thing of it is hes been helping me with my math. Trevor: Your math? Christina: Well, uh, yes, actually. Hes really good at it - and hes actually a nice guy. I was thinking maybe I could get my brother to give him some of his old clothes - hes got tons, you know. Trevor: Your brother's clothes? Christina:Yeah. You know how he's poor and all... You see, Ive been praying for him too. (uncomfortable pause) I guess Id better leave, huh? Trevor: (Silently points to the door.) Christina: (Gets up) See you later, Jen. Jennifer: Bye! Trevor: OK, Jen, you can put Christinas name right after Scotts. Now, its your turn to make fun of Jimmy. And youd better make it good - Im in the mood for a real roast! Jennifer: (Looks lost without Christina to finish her sentences.) Uh, well, um, Jimmy, you see is ... uh, well, hes been finishing my sentences for me! Trevor: Dont tell me youve been praying for him too? Jennifer: (Nods Mutely) Good-bye, Trevor. Ill be praying for you! (Hurries off) Trevor: Good-bye, Jennifer. (under his breath) Praying for me! The nerve! (Surveys the empty stage. Loudly) Well, at least Im still popular! The End |
|||