The Lion and the Mouse or: The Tiger and the Various Rodents

Actors: 6
Reference: II Cor 12:9
Notes: Aunt Bertha should have a chair and a book - since she has so many lines, it may help to print them out and hide them in the book.
As in many of our skits, you may vary the number of actors quite easily. It would work well to have either 3 or 5 rodents.

Full Script

[View Synopsis Only]

Aunt Bertha: (Sitting down in overstuffed chair at stage left and pulling out a book) Good morning boys and girls! Im so glad you could come today! Its time for another story time with Aunt Bertha, and I know youre going to love this one! (Tiger struts on stage)

Aunt Bertha: Once upon a time, in a deep, dark jungle, there lived a mighty lion! Now this lion.....

Tiger: (breaking in) Hey! Wait just one minute!

Aunt Bertha: What?!

Tiger: Do I look like a lion to you?

Aunt Bertha: Well, no, now that you mention it, the stripes dont look very lion-ish, I guess.

Tiger: Thats right! I am not a lion, I am a Tiger, and proud of it!

Aunt Bertha: (Looking in confusion at her book) But - but the book says youre a lion!

Tiger: Now dont you start on that. I know exactly what youre going to do. Youre going to sit right there and tell that old, boring story about a lion and a bunch of mice . Well, its the wrong one. I am Not a lion!

Aunt Bertha: Well, all right. Youre not a lion. OK. (beginning again.) Once upon a time, in a deep dark jungle, there lived a mighty - er - Tiger. Now this Tiger was king of all he saw!

Tiger: Hey!

Aunt Bertha: What? What now?!?

Tiger: I am neither a lion, nor a boy.

Aunt Bertha: Queen of all she saw.

Tiger: Try Princess!

Aunt Bertha: Oh, all right. Princess of all she saw! Now, this Tiger was the biggest, strongest, and most powerful beast in all the jungle. No one could stop her, and her word was law. (Tiger is prancing and preening during this hyperbole. At the end, strolls just off stage left)

(Rodents enter stage right)

Aunt Bertha: Now, in this very same jungle, there lived a family of mice.

Mole: Um, excuse me maam.

Aunt Bertha: What now?

Mole: Well, were not mice!

Aunt Bertha: Not mice? Then what in the world are you?

Mole: Well, were a bunch of things. Im a mole, shes a hamster...

Shrew: (Raising hand timidly) Im a shrew!

Mole: Yeah, shes a shrew.

Aunt Bertha: A shrew. (points at last rodent) OK, so whats that one?

Rat: Oh, me? Im just a Rodent of Unusual Size.

Mole: (Confidentially, to Aunt Bertha) Hes a rat.

Rat: Hey!

Aunt Bertha: All right, all right. In this very same jungle lived a family of... er... various and assorted rodents.

Hamster: Yeah! But one things true about all of us. We smell bad!

Mole: Yeah! And were small and puny!

Shrew: Weve got diseases!

Hamster: And bugs!

Rat: Yeah! I gotta tick.

Aunt Bertha: Yuck! Well, the rodents went on like this for quite some time, until...you guessed it...the Tiger showed up! As the assorted rodents were so small and puny, the Tiger had no trouble backing them into a corner.

(Tiger enters stage left, roars, and pounces at the rodents)

Rodents: Ahhhhhh!

Tiger: Well, well, well. What have we here? Looks like a family of assorted rodents all backed into a corner.

Hamster: Oh man! Whose idea was it to play in the corner anyway?

Tiger: Well, I must thank you for being so easy to catch. Means Ill have all the more time to enjoy my breakfast (eyeing them distastefully), meager as it is.

Mole: Wait - wait! You dont want to eat us, your highness!

Tiger: I dont! Ha! And why not?

Mole: Well, like you said, were puny. There wouldnt possibly be enough to fill you up!

Tiger: So? Ill just catch a few more later. Think of yourselves as a power snack.

Shrew: Well, uh, were smelly, and diseased!

Hamster: Yeah - Ive got bugs.

Tiger: Uh huh. Ive heard that before. I have an iron constitution.

Mole: Hey! I know! If you dont eat us, and you ever get in trouble, well help you out! I mean, its conceivable!

Tiger: (Laughs uproariously) Ah ha ha ha! YOU? Help ME out? Thats the funniest thing Ive heard in days! Im the Princess of the jungle! Ruler of the entire realm! I Never need help - least of all from a pack of, er, assorted rodents. Unless, of course, its help filling my belly! Ha ha ha! What a joke!

Rat: Well, why dont you just eat us then?

Mole: Shut up! (To Tiger) Dont listen to him. Hes a rat!

Rat: Hey!

Hamster: Ok, Ive got an idea. See, the thing of it is...

Tiger: And there is a thing?

Shrew: Yeah! Yeah! See, of you eat us, who would call you Princess this morning?

Tiger: Hmmm.....

Mole: (Catching on) Yes, your majesty! Your highness! (Other rodents ad lib, bow, curtsy, etc.)

Tiger: (Thoughtfully, her pride appealed to) You do have a point there. Oh, all right. I wont eat you this morning. Go on! Get out of here!

Rodents: Yay!

Hamster: (Aside) You know shes going to say that we scampered off now. I just hate that!

Shrew: Yeah, why cant she say we frolicked?

Mole: Or danced?

Hamster: Or even ran?

Rat: And shell say the tiger Prowled, or stalked, or something fancy like that.

Aunt Bertha: (Pointedly) So the various and assorted rodents scampered off, while the tiger prowled elegantly away in search of her next prey.

Hamster: Ahh well. I guess thats just our lot as poor, helpless assorted rodents. (All exit)

Aunt Bertha: Well, you guessed it! That very same day the tiger was strolling through one of here favorite spots in the jungle....

Tiger: Oh, what beautiful trees! What melodious birds! What tasty monkeys!

Aunt Bertha: When all of the sudden, a huge net fell from her favorite tree, pinning her to the ground!

Tiger: (Falling to the ground and thrashing about) Ahhhh! Where did that come from?

Aunt Bertha: Thrash and fight as she may, none of the Tigers great strength could free her from the snare. In fact, all her thrashing only made it tighter! What would she do? Before long, the hunter would be along, and his family would be eat tiger steaks tonight!
Just about that time, who should come along but the family of mi...er...assorted rodents.

Mole: Look! Its a net! And theres a tiger under it!

Rodents: Wow! Woah! Oooh! Etc.

Tiger: (Irritably) Would you guys quit gawking and get me out of here?

Hamster: But, begging your leave, your Majesty, why arent you using your great strength to get out?

Shrew: Or your royal position?

Rat: Or your ability to eat assorted rodents?

Mole, Shrew, Hamster: Hush!

Tiger: (Roaring) Just get me OUT!

Mole: All right, all right. No need to get bent out of shape!

Shrew: Now, just lie still and well chew you right out of there.

Hamster: Good thing we have such puny little teeth so we can get to those ropes!

Rat: Yeah, and you can be sure none of those villagers will come over here - we smell too bad! (Rodents fall to, chewing her out)

Shrew: Now, just one last rope, and I think youre out.

Tiger: (Standing and stretching) Wow! Thanks guys!

Hamster: See, we told you wed help you out some day!

Mole: Yeah, I guess your strength and power wasnt really as helpful as it appeared.

Tiger: And you guys werent so useless as you seemed either.

Shrew: Hey! Lets celebrate!

Hamster: You know, in my family, we like to grab hands and dance around in a big circle.

(All do so) YAY!!!

Mole: (after about 1 beat) Uh, I gotta better idea. Isnt there a Starbucks in the tree over there?

All: Yeah! (All exit)

The End