Lisa's list...
Okay, it's not from Lisa, but each of these could be a joke from her.
---
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
3. A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
4. A man walked into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and said, "A beer please, and one for the road."
5. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"!
6. Two cows stood next to each other in a field. Daisy said to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
7. An invisible man married an invisible woman; the kids were nothing to look at either.
8. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
9. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"
10. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
11. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
12. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him... a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
13. Finally, there was the person who sent a lot of puns to her friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
|